10 Things Men Can Learn from Women

The other day I was talking to my friend Alyssa, from Home.Sewn, about her blog posts regarding female empowerment and I mentioned that women who make an effort to improve themselves inspire me to also improve myself!  I wanted to dig deeper into this thing called “girl power” so I could see what things us men might benefit learning from the opposite sex, that’s you: ladies!  So after putting my ego aside and complaining about how hard this was to do, I’ve compiled a list of 10 things that I have personally learned from women and what I think other men could benefit learning from women as well.

[DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape, or form implying that men cannot learn these things from other men, that women cannot learn these things from other women or men, or even that these are the only things that men can learn from women. These are just ten things that I think men might just be better off learning from women for their own self-improvement journey. I believe that men and women are equal. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have even considered assembling a co-ed soccer team in the first place. I’m just a man on a mission with a pen and an opinion.]

*Bites bullet*

Here we go:

• Organization – List making - just plain and simple.  I’ve heard some women claim to go through the “mental checklist” before they fall asleep in bed.  My head is a cluttered place… even the thought of a mental checklist seems like something that belongs in the next level.
• Taking Pride in Appearance – Men have been on the recent trend of taking pride of their appearance for approximately the past 10 years.  Women have been caring about their appearance since the beginning of time it appears.  If women take extra measures to look and smell good then so should we!
• Etiquette – Learning from my mother, who taught me that manners were carried forward to the dinner table.  I can still hear her voice in the back of my head…  “Wait for everyone to be seated before eating!  Don’t slurp!  Sit up straight!  Did you excuse yourself before leaving the table?”…  This taught me to be respectful to those who prepared the meal and also to not eat like a savage.  I wouldn’t say I follow those rules to the tee, but I do conduct my own healthy variation of dining in style!
• Discipline – Hair growth… that shit takes a while.  I’ve been growing out my hair for well over a year now and boy does it take some mad discipline.  I’ve been tempted to get a haircut almost every day whenever I look down at my shower drain.  But through discipline I can endure the lows to celebrate the highs and ultimately persevere – in this case it’s healthy longer hair! Unrelated but if you want to see how I style my hair, click here.
• Multitasking – Most women I know are crazy good at doing multiple things at the same time.  There’s no better embodiment of this than a single mom trying to balance her life as she juggles her kids.  When it comes to accomplishing small tasks, I struggle with switching and completing them.  I have to do one thing, then finish it, and afterwards move on to the next.
• Learning – Women are incredible learners.  I’ve always wondered why all the guys at school typically got lower grades than the girls – except for math class ;) jab, jab, right hook.  Whatever it is that women are doing to get better grades, sign me up because I want in. P.S. It always pays off to read the instructions first.
• Active Listening – I have a small tendency to space out during a conversation but at least I’ve been awake enough to notice how well women actually listen during one!  I’ve been making more of an effort lately to stay focused and absorb as much as I can like a sponge because I can actually contribute to what’s been said and make a better connection with the person whom I’m engaging.
• Intuition – I’ll never forget what my Grade 7 French teacher said to the class about indecision when it comes to test-taking: “Go with your gut feeling.”  It’s that simple.  Follow your moral compass and just do what feels right to you.
• Emotional Expression – Women are emotional beings who aren’t afraid to show how they’re feeling.  It bothers me when men are considered “weak” or are mocked for showing their emotions.  It’s okay to smile when you’re happy or cry when you’re sad.  Showing your emotions doesn’t make you less of a man – or woman for that matter.
• Meticulousness – Women’s attention to detail is impeccable – they can detect a hair out of place or a wrinkle that needs to be ironed out.  I feel like men are less likely to detect the micro-adjustments to turn good into great.  If you make every little inch perfect and then add them all up, then you might just get the difference between victory and defeat.

So yes, rather, quite #girlpower

Here is a link to the other part of our collaboration piece over on Alyssa’s blog about The Benefits of Being Around the Opposite Sex! Go check it out!  But for the sake of completion, I’ll give you a little preview as to what she has in store for you:

• Stress Management – “KEEPING YOUR FUCKING COOL WHEN THE WORLD IS ON FIRE AROUND YOU.”  Stressing about the past gets you nowhere – what’s done is done, now let’s start problem solving.
• Patience – “I have a hard time even waiting for my popcorn to cook.”  It’s important to understand some things just take time – Rome wasn’t built in a day after all (but if I’m perfectly honest – waiting for the next season of a show to come out is the absolute WORST).
• Elasticity – “Men can adapt to any environment.  It’s probably because they have less hair and do not have to worry about their mascara running, 99% of the time.”… HEY, I HAVE LONG HAIR TOO – but yeah it checks out…
• Judgement Control – “Girls can be really mean + judgemental.  Men know how to be decent humans towards each other, it’s admirable.”  ß THIS
• Time Management – “Personally, I’m always late.  Almost every woman that I know is.”
• Logical Reasoning – We’re BOTH going to just leave this one here…
• When to Relax – “Women can’t slow down.  It probably has something to do with that ‘mental checklist’…”
• Managing Emotions – “Women can definitely slip off of the deep end […] and most of the time there’s a dude friend somewhere keeping her in check.  It’s nice - probably saved a few lives + taken some.”

Well put Alyssa, that DEFINITELY wasn’t easy to write, so kudos!

I think that men and women can better coexist if we BOTH make an effort to understand each other.  What do you guys think?  Do you agree with our points? What would be on your list that we didn’t cover?  Comment below.

But as always guys – remember to stay casual!

- Casually Formal

P.S. Check out my new website staycasuallyformal.com for all my other content!

& in case you missed the link to Alyssa's sibling article at Home.Sewn, click here

How to Pull Yourself Up and Get Out of a Funk

Talk about being a hypocrite...

In the vlog I did where I went to Men's StyleCon 2017 in Atlanta, Georgia - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr_2aOIJOTI - I said right before I left the hotel that I was "so motivated that I'm ready to give it more than just a month - people say that you're going to be motivated for only a month after this event - I think this is going to extend to 12 months easily, to next StyleCon" in 2018 (which is now known as MenFluential Conference). 

By "it" I meant work hard and do the daily grind. But since I haven't really done jack, I'll quietly eat those words now.

Here I am, only 11 days after the end of StyleCon and I'm finally willing to admit that I haven't been as on the ball as I previously said I would have been. I definitely know the reason why as well: BURNOUT. 

I had been running myself ragged ever since my last semester of undergrad started in January trying to keep up with school mixed with my business endeavours, content creating, trying to find a part time job and overthinking just about every single second of living as I attempt to not only survive but LIVE. 

However, this morning I was faced with a decision when I woke up. Go to my 8 AM class for Construction Management Finance or sleep in. I have classes at 8 AM consecutively from Tuesday - Thursday but Wednesday (today) morning is always particularly difficult to rise out of bed for me because I organize a coed soccer team with my friends that plays on Tuesday nights. Last night, the game started at 11 PM and ended at midnight - taking it longer than usual for me to fall asleep when I got home. My alarm was set for 6 AM but I kept hitting snooze until I found myself making a judgment call at 7 AM: either get my ass out of bed NOW or skip class entirely...

Which do you think I chose? 😉

Fast forward to 11 AM when I finally managed to drag my ass out of bed: I'm entirely (naturally) awake for the first time in 10 days and also inspired to go about my day! My planning rituals had gone by the waste side since I got back from StyleCon and so began the resurrection of my normal habits. Was I late to the party? Absolutely, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let that dampen my spirit. After all, better late than never. 

So I made it my mission to turn this day into a turning point and documented the list of things I did today to put things back into perspective. I will share them with you now in blog format.

Here are the 5 steps I took today to pull myself up and get out of a funk:

1. Get enough sleep and take a personal day too (if that's what it takes). 8 hours are minimum here - be sure to wake up naturally (without an alarm) as well.

2. Pull yourself up, literally. I did a set of 8 pull-ups on my Iron Gym Total Upper Body Workout Bar. It's important that you do something physically uplifting. If pull-ups aren't your thing, not to worry: a simple set of 10 push-ups will suffice! The point of this is NOT to build muscle or work out. It's just to add some physical symbolism for encouragement (but the micro workout also helps).

3. Make sure you leave the house, go outside, and connect with nature. Better yet, actually go somewhere where you can take action into turning things around. In my case, I left my house, took the subway to school, and then began writing this post. Fresh cold air really helps clarify my thought process.

4. Reflect on a good memory that can be recreated. For example, while I was on the subway I reflected on my killer soccer season I had in the summer, dreamed about the day I can go play soccer outside this summer and start to recreate those positive memories! This is important because it helps you remember what kind of awesome things you're capable of achieving.

5. Connect with a friend and talk about your struggles. Let him/her know how you're ACTUALLY feeling and what you're doing to take action to turn the corner. In the evening, I met with my friend Adrian over at https://modernskepticism.blogspot.ca and we had a nice chat that helped put things back into perspective after these past 10 days.

It's that simple guys! Follow my 5 actionable step guide to help pull you up and get you out of a funk. Then, hopefully you'll overcome the difficulties that you were having and with any additional luck, you'll not only turn the corner but cause that much needed figurative explosion behind you. 💣💣💣

But above all else, remember to stay casual!

- Michele

Why am I doing this?

For those that know me well (which is a good amount of the people here - I would assume), it may not come as a surprise to you that I've created a page about men's style. But for those that I do not know yet or perhaps know but haven't touched base with in a while, I want to give a little backstory. Ever since my "interesting" summer co-op experience in construction, I've been having my second thoughts about my career in the industry that I was otherwise CONVINCED my future would be in. The problem is that I care. I care way too much about the actual people behind the construction process compared to the actual building undergoing development. I would rather help people overcome their problems then help build an over-glorified shelter that should normally withstand the tests of time and brave the elements. 

So I'm taking my efforts elsewhere, to the men's style and personal development industry. Construction can be a back up after I graduate in April. I don't know where this journey will take me but I do know that I am more than capable of coming up with endless ideas until I find something (or multiple things) that works. So I'm taking to Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, my blog, and perhaps other social mediums in the future with the hopes of sharing my journey with the world to help us all become the best versions of ourselves that we can be. This is what I want to do and everyday I wake up feeling more passionate about my decision.

I ask you to be patient but also stay tuned. I started this on a whim in November as a hobby but in just 2 months, things have already exploded! So I'm off with a bang. I have ZERO experience in BUSINESS and/or FASHION, yet I've been able to secure a part time job selling custom accessories at shows across the GTA in 2017, picked up a brand ambassador opportunity from an accessory brand from the UK, and will be attending Men's StyleCon 2017 in February, which is a convention where fellow men's style and personal development content creators are assembling for a weekend of inspiration and networking. 

Is Casually Formal a business? No, but I want business to come of it sooner rather than later. I promise that I will stay authentic and give honest reviews of my content. If something sucks, I'm not going to promote it or even mention it, unless it's a video about how something sucks haha.

So that's why I'm doing this. I'm doing it for me and for you. For the gentlemen and gentlewomen out there. Thank you for putting up with me this far, but this is just the start of something great! Remember above all else to stay true to yourself, follow your passions, and enjoy this gift of life given to us.

And above all else...
Stay casual guys,

Michele.